Soon As I Let It

I'm going to be nice
To myself this time.
I'm alright, I think.
Yes, I think
I might just be.

Lots of days spent
Planning on getting back
To who I was before
The moments pushed me
Pretty far from home.

Lots of days wasted
Watching the words
While they came out,
So for to catch them
Before they get to the rest of you.

I never wanted you upset. With me.
But you get upset anyhow,
Despite my best efforts.
Despite my worst lies.
So I'll stop watching and

Listen for a while,
To what I meant to say.
Mostly because I forget
Who it was
I meant to be.

I have a vague idea, and I think it will all come rushing back in.
Soon as I let it. Be.