Sarah Rayne has Skillz.

She does. But whatever, you guys. Calm down, because it's not even a big deal. It's just fact. So you don't need to freak out about it, you just need to deal. She has skills.

And she will share them with you.

Like, check this out...

1. She steals. As in she's a thief. As in literally. As in mini bars and reality television production cheeseburgers. But she will give all of her spoils to you.

2. Sarah has 3 different (legitimate) music projects going on (that I know about). One with her bros because she is a family oriented person, one with her friend Brian because she is a good friend who likes to collaborate freely, and one on her own because she is an independent woman with a keen sense of self.

3. If you are crying, she will take a picture of your face.

4. If you are laughing, she will make it worse and take it to the next level with dick jokes.

5. Sarah has a Monday night beard during dodgeball season.

6. She knows every swimming pool game in existence. And if you try to make one up to throw her off, she will have it wired immediately and add three new rules that make it more satisfying than it ever was when you were playing it without her.

7. When playing sports and doing general athletics, Sarah does not put her hair up in a ponytail.

8. She will go to the beach with you at 4am. This is "hearsay," but I believe it to be true with all my heart.

9. Sarah will make you feel OK about looking up the short skirts of women who walk by while you are floating in a pool.

10. No one, and I mean no one, can "do dead" better than Sarah Rayne.

11. She makes coffee cake that can and will open up your soul.

12. She always has extra capes.

13. She will make you feel like you are full of worth on your most worthless days. I swear. It is some kind of sweet black magic.

If it weren't 3AM, I'd keep going. Anyways, I'm glad I got at least this much off my chest. In summation, Sarah clearly has skills. If you see her, remind her of that. And also tell her I love her. Because I do. So much. How could I not?*

*see below.